Sunday, March 11, 2012

I Do Not Like This Timeline Shit.

Hey, just in case anyone DIDN'T know, everyone who uses Facebook is going to be forced to adopt their new "Timeline" format shortly. Like all other Facebook changes, this is likely to be followed by mass panic as people attempt to discern how this change will impact their personal privacy...

Do you like
This Timeline shit?

I do not like it
Not one bit.
I do not like
This Timeline shit.

Would you like it
If you had control?

How would I know
If I had control?
Facebook privacy
Is like a big black hole!
Invading your life
Seems like their goal.
I'll bet they watch me
On the toilet bowl...

I do not LIKE
This Timeline shit!
I do not like it,
Not one bit.

How about if they promise
To respect your rights?

They already promise
To respect my rights!
But my doubts about it
Keep me up nights!

I think of the pictures
Where I'm good and lit.
In a couple I'm holding
Someone's tit!
If those got out
I'd have a fit!
Everyone's secrets...
Just think of it!
I do not LIKE
This Timeline shit!
I do not like it,
Not one bit.

Would you like it if
They let you pick?

I would not like it
If they'd let me pick.
I'd suspect it was
Some dirty trick!
Those Facebook people
Are pretty slick.
That "Social Network" movie,
I watched it quick,
And it made Zuckerberg
Look like a dick!

I do not LIKE
This Timeline shit!
I do not like it,
Not one bit.

Would you like to go
To Google Plus?

I wanted to go
To Google Plus.
I made a profile,
It was no fuss.
I just peeked in,
And we must discuss:
Nobody uses that thing!
Not even us!
It's going nowhere,
Like an empty bus!

I do not LIKE
This Timeline shit...
But what am I
To do 'bout it?
Google Plus is empty.
MySpace is poo.
LinkedIn's too stodgy,
For me and you.
I really hate it,
But I'm stuck like glue.
And when they release Timeline,
I'll say "boo-hoo..."
Buy I don't really know
What else to do!

Well here my friend,
Just have a look!
Why not track your friends
With a real address book?
It's made of paper,
Unlike a Kindle or Nook,
And it won't give private info
To some random crook!

That thing's made from trees!
It is no fun!
And if I want to talk
With anyone...
Why, I'd have to CALL!
Forget it, son!
I guess that's it,
This battle's done.
And once again
Facebook has won.

I do not like
This Timeline shit.
But I guess I'll have
To deal with it.

Facebook helps
Me interact.
I can't do it live!
I have no tact!
It makes friendship easy,
And that's a fact.
...At least until
My account gets hacked!

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